Devil is the spirit of EVILNESS. Angel is the spirit of HOLINESS. Devil Angel: How to take a friendship back When it is Broken

Thursday, June 28, 2007

How to take a friendship back When it is Broken

Let's face it - friends are fundamental. Who else but your bestie can you cry with in the bathroom after your crush snubs you at the party? And it's only with friends that hours rush by while you're dancing to Beyonce in your bedroom. So it's hard when things get in the way of you and your BFF. The good news is it's not too hard to mend a broken friendship.

It starts out as a simple argument: your bestie thinks Pete Wentz is hot, and you say Channing Tatum is hotter. But then it escalates until she won't sit next to you in geography or share her sandwich with you at lunch-time. You both enjoy each other's company, so what's stopping you from having all-night gossip sessions and taking bus-trips to the mall again?

"Sharing ideas and opinions with each other is part of friendship," says Anna, "Having different ideas is normal and these differences may lead to arguments. You may feel hurt, disappointed, angry, sad or lonely when you disagree with a friend. These feelings may make it difficult to manage the argument."

So it's important to stay in control of your feelings and find positive ways to deal with the argument (because let's face it, gossiping about your bestie behind her back isn't going to make anything better). And, as Anna tells us, working through a disagreement may make the friendship stronger.

Here are some ways to get your friendship back to it's all-night popcorn and movie marathon best.

1. Wanting to stay friends

You know that you and your bestie have a ball together, in fact, when you look back, you have so many awesome memories with her. There's no way you'd want to throw that away, right?

"Wanting to understand and accept differences gives you a place to start. Doing this still allows you both to have to different opinions, however through understanding each other you may be able to agree to disagree," says Anna.

2. Speak to your friend

You and your bestie probably know everything about each other. So what's stopping you from telling her how you feel now? Letting your friend know how you feel might sound a little scary, but it can be really positive.

"Keeping stuff to yourself may make you angrier," Anna says, "It is a good idea to speak when you both feel calm. It may help to write down your thoughts before talking, this may help you to be clear about what you want to say."

You might want to talk to somebody else about it, like another friend or a family member first.

"If you decide to talk to someone, try focusing on how you feel rather than what the friend has done or said," Anna says.

3. Listen to your friend

So you've made the decision to talk to your friend, but that's only half of it. Listening goes hand in hand with talking.

"Never underestimate the importance of listening," says Anna, "Allowing your friend to tell their side of the story and really listening to them may be helpful in managing the argument. It may be tempting to interrupt, instead try and wait until they have finished."

4. Try to avoid blame

Do you still think the argument is all your bestie's fault? While it may be tempting to blame her, or the weather, or Pete Wentz himself, blaming someone isn't going to help.

"When you are hurt and angry it can be normal to want to blame someone," says Anna, "Laying blame may make a situation harder. To avoid laying blame it may be helpful to stay focused on how you feel."

Follow those steps and you'll be on your way back to giggling your way through geography with your bestie in no time

1 comment:

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